Love me
by Orefish
Summary: chapter 12 is up. Angst Angst Angst and more Angst. HisxTsu, Limegoodness in this one folks so R&R. Not finishing it.
1. Chapter 1

7.11.03

I guess it's a bit of a warning…Ok, for those who normally read my stuff…ehehe, this is a drastic change of pace, very drastic, this is a drama: meaning very little humor and no dancing fat men slapping each other's asses with salmon. So you've been warned. Also, this is my first YnM fic , and don't complain about Tsuzuki's OCC'ness he's kinda angsty and doesn't feel like acting like dork right now. There is also one new character, but no fear; she's not going to interfere with this His/Tsu thing going on. (oh boy =)) As for the rating, pg-13 seems to fit it for now, but beware, it may get worse much, much, worse this may even fall into the gory horror/romance category at some point. Anyways more coming, so please don't just read the first chapter and say "this sucks ass" because its called a progressive story line and I don't feel like just making this a PWP and just have a fu- fun… fest, between Hisoka and Tsuzuki…anyways, please please give this a chance i know its going to start off slow but it'll get going. R&R

Disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei, so yeah, lets get it on.

Love me.

The sun beat down a hot red glow on through Tsuzuki's eyelids, even though he rested under one of the many Sakura trees at EnmaCho, the shade didn't do him any good. Normally, he liked the sunlight but he hadn't got much sleep last night, or for a while for that matter and the sun didn't aid to his exhaustion. It wasn't so much that it was insomnia, but just way too much thinking. Things had changed ever since his "incident" in Kyoto , but in his case things had to change.

The sound of footsteps progressed over to his current location and soon a pleasing shadow took over the heat of the sun. Tsuzuki opened his eyes to see his blond haired friend stand over him.

"Hi Hisoka." He said looking up at the boy's lean silhouette.

"Hi…Konoe wants us." He said plainly and then walked away. It had been like that for a while now, even after what he had said to Tsuzuki in Kyoto he only became more distant. Tsuzuki had wondered if, maybe, the moment had made Hisoka say things he didn't mean. Humans have a tendency to say things just to please people, whether it's a false promise or a false complement, but no matter what it is there is always some form of care to the person being promised. He didn't doubt that Hisoka cared about him to an extent, but if he did care at all, how much? He got up from his spot on the ground and dusted himself off, he then followed after Hisoka into the EnmaCho building.

He walked into the briefing room where everyone was already sitting down, Watari gave his usual glance and then smile, and Tatsumi, who was standing up, pushed his glasses up with his middle finger.

"Glad to see you could make it." He said sarcastically.

"Sorry I'm late." Tsuzuki said bowing his head.

Konoe just stood there with his constipated look on his face that he always had but when working in the depressing business of trying to track down upset dead folks he really couldn't have a shit eating grin. He plopped a news paper on to the large table in front of him and sat down, while Tatsumi took over. Hisoka pulled the news paper over to him.

"So what's this about?" Hisoka asked looking up from the paper.

"Your familiar with Minase Hijiri's school, correct?" Tatsumi said pointing at a section on the news paper.

"Yeah, why what's happened?" Tsuzuki said in a concerned tone.

"A strange illness seems to be occurring in the students there, they complain of troubles breathing and some complain of having markings on their necks."

"Markings? What type of markings?" Tsuzuki said.

"Slash marks. And the interesting thing of this is all these symptoms occur in their sleep, when they say they feel a pressure on their chest, like someone is pushing down on their rib cages. Many parents have confronted their doctors about it and all they can come up with is that it's some sort of virus, and they overlook the fact that it's been occurring during sleep." Tatsumi explained.

"We'd like you to take on roles in the school and keep an eye on the kids there, if you run into anything you can't handle feel free to call in some back up. I have a feeling this might get nasty," Konoe said, "Well, you're dismissed. You can leave anytime within the next 24 hours."

Everyone got up from their seats and exited the room. Tsuzuki walked over to Hisoka who was still looking at the newspaper, he made a slight noise.

"What?" Tsuzuki asked.

"That school also has a high suicide rate, I wonder if it's some how connected?" He then put down the paper, "In any case I have something to do before we go you can go on ahead if you don't want to wait." At that, Hisoka walked off with the others.


	2. Chapter 2

R&R

Chapter 2.

Tsuzuki walked to the break room, "_He's so cold towards me…is it because of something I did? If only I could just get him to talk to me like he used to…then…well, if he talked to me like he used to I guess there wouldn't be a problem in the first place.", _He thought to himself. He couldn't help but laugh, he had no idea how to go about the problem, talking was the only thing he could to but if Hisoka didn't want to stick around to talk there wasn't any other option available to him.

The lights in the break room were off in order to save on electricity, Tatsumi always was strict on budgeting. He walked over to the coffeemaker; he hoped that coffee might make him feel at least a _little _rejuvenated he didn't think that it could make up for all the lost hours of sleep all though he wished it would.

"Tsuzuki Asato, correct?" a woman's voice came from behind causing Tsuzuki to spin around almost spilling his coffee. A young woman around the age of 25 was sitting on one of the couches behind him. She had curly black hair, he really couldn't see the length of it because she was reclining against the back cushions, but if she was standing it could have been about the middle of her back. She stood up, smoothed her black skirt down and strode over to the startled man, her black pumps clicked signaling her movement but she seemed to glide more than walk.

"I'm sorry, did I scare you?" she said as she squinted her gray eyes.

"Oh no, it's ok I just didn't think anyone was in here, must have been the darkness." He said, still trying to get his heart rate to go down, "Um, who are you?" 

"Oh, I didn't mean to be rude, I'm Asai Oki, I'm from the Okinawa section, I've been sent here to help you and Kurosaki." She said as she shook his hand.

"That's funny; they didn't mention that we would be getting any outside help."

"Oh, that's because I was supposed to introduce myself during the briefing but I was getting held up in work so I called up Konoe and told him that I would just find you at the school if I didn't run into you here."

"I see, well I'm glad to be working with you."

"Well if you're not too busy would you like to head out? I don't really know my way around so I can't really get there on my own." She said as she played with a beaded necklace that hung just a little lower than her collar bone.

"Um, sure," He said glancing down at his coffee which he hadn't gotten the chance to drink. "I was just going to leave after my coffee anyways." He said forcing a smile to his tired face, he then downed half of his drink and dumped the rest out in the sink.  
"Let's go." he said forcing another smile.

Hisoka watched himself in the mirror, as he did his collar. He never really liked wearing school uniforms the collars always made him feel trapped, and it did no good in the warmer months. He thought he looked good but a part of him felt ugly, "_I'm such a terrible person, how can I just go on ignoring him, he's just going to go into another depression and if that happens I might not be around to stop him from…" _He flinched at the thought, "…_but how am I supposed to talk to him like we used to, it would just be too awkward to talk like we used to…" _He sighed at himself and walked out of the room. Tatsumi came from further down the hall, "Kurosaki_-kun_, I thought you left already."

"Ah, no, why?" He responded.

"Oh, Tsuzuki told me that he was leaving, I guess he thought you'd catch up."

"That's odd; he's not normally that enthusiastic to start up on an assignment, normally he leaves with me."

"But lately you two seem to be having some troubles…"

"You could tell?" Hisoka said with a blush.

He nodded, "He doesn't seem to be himself lately, nor have you. I would think that the occurrence in Kyoto would have…," He tried to search for the appropriate words, "…brought you closer together."

"Ah…well…" Hisoka's blush grew redder.

"What's the problem?" 

"Well, I have a bit of a hard time talking to him, its…well…some of the things I said in Kyoto, seemed a little out of character and…a little forward…I just don't know how to act I guess. It's too confusing to really put into words…" He said as he knotted the fabric of his pants up in his hands. Tatsumi's normally stern blue eyes seemed to soften with sympathy. He gave the boy a pat on the head.

"Well, I hope things work out for you." He said

"Thanks…Tatsumi."

Tatsumi then continued on his way, "Oh, and good luck." he shouted back. 


	3. Chapter 3

7.22.03

Ok forgive me if this is a bit jumbly…I was doing this at 11:30 at night so don't blame me if it sounds like some LSD trip… "…an' then Hisoka goes 'wow far out man!' and Tsuzuki goes 'yo that bitch'n like the flap basta kick ma' can dawg!' and then they make out in a crazy orgy that I'll just describe as 'bob'…that's an adjective right? Yeah….oh god I'm so damn tired…"

Chapter 3.

The halls of Hijiri's school seemed like a never ending maze to Hisoka, students passed him and gave him the typical stare that the new kids always get, after playing the part for a few cases he had gotten used to it. However he thought that all the alien looks would eventually cause a _real_ transfer student to go postal or something.

As he continued down the hallway he could soon hear the familiar voice of Tsuzuki's in the distance, however it was conversing with another voice, a medium-low woman's voice, the type that would be good for phone sex.

"Hey! Hisoka! Its bout' time." Tsuzuki said as Hisoka closed the distance between them.

"Hi…who's this?" Hisoka said getting to the point.

"Oh, Hisoka, this is-"

"I'm Asai Oki. Konoe called me over from Okinawa I'm here to help you out in this particular case, they said they needed a _shinigami_ with a professional medical background, given this particular case and all…" Asai said.

Each of Asai's words for some reason burned into Hisoka's consciousness. It wasn't so much as the contents of what she had said but the sound of her voice saying it. He flinched and tried to shake the woman's rich voice out of his head.

"What about Watari?"

"Watari is more of a technical scientist rather than a physician," Tsuzuki informed him, "plus I really don't think switching the students' genders would do much in our case." He laughed at the thought.

"Oh well, nice to meet you." He said unsurely and extended a hand out to Asai but she did not return the gesture. She instead gave a slight smile and said "I'm very pleased to meet you. Anyways, I need to get down to the nurse's office and get to work. I'll see you around." She then abruptly turned and began down the hallway.

"What a rude woman…" Hisoka said as soon as he was out of her hearing range.

"What?" Tsuzuki said.

"She didn't even shake my hand."

"Asai seems to be a perfectly fine person to me."

"But didn't you see her? She deliberately avoided-" 

"Well," Tsuzuki said cutting the boy off "I don't think you should be expecting too much from anyone when you act so rude yourself." He folded his arms across his waist and watched the woman turn into the nurse's office, his face was a little annoyed.

"Since when did you become guru on proper etiquette? You eat like a pig." 

Tsuzuki's face turned from annoyance to anger, "What is with you lately?" Something inside of Hisoka felt a very big "Uh-oh", he knew where this was going to lead and everything about the situation to follow told him to walk away. But before he could go anywhere he was grabbed by the arms and pressed up against the wall. As soon as those hands met his arms, his barrier went up, he knew what it felt like when Tsuzuki was mad and he didn't want to feel it again.

"I know there is something wrong, Hisoka." Tsuzuki said as he made emerald eyes meet his amethyst. Hisoka tried to break the gaze by turning his head but Tsuzuki was determined to keep his upset eyes on Hisoka's. Empathy didn't have to tell him that Tsuzuki was mad he could see it clearly.

"Nothing is wrong." Hisoka stated firmly.

"What are you talking about? You think that neglecting people isn't wrong?"

"I'm not neglecting anyone…" His voice was beginning to soften

"I just don't understand you! Damn it, Hisoka! Why are you so distant? Are you sick? Has something happened? Are you having problems with your empathy?"

It made him sick really, Tsuzuki that is. Despite all his anger the only thing that was really concerning him was Hisoka and his well being. Tsuzuki was like a child, he was almost one hundred years old and yet his way of thinking lacked the cynicism and bitterness that most old folks had. The grip on his arms became more firm, Tsuzuki was fighting the urge to shake the life out of the boy. His thoughts were forcing their way into Hisoka and his barrier was beginning to crack under the pressure of Tsuzuki's mind and his own, "_WHATS WRONG WITH ME? SAY SOMETHING TO HIM! TELL HIM THAT…" Hisoka's mind screamed but his thoughts were now being interrupted by a barrage of feelings, pain, anger, sadness, sympathy, confusion; the list seemed to go on forever. _

"I…" Hisoka began but his vision was beginning to blur and nausea was starting to take control. Tsuzuki's grip loosened as he realized that the empath was becoming noticeably slack against the wall. He then took his hands off him and backed away, his purple eyes became sad and extremely hurt as he looked to the floor.

"I wish you would just talk to me again," All the force that was once in Tsuzuki's voice a few moments ago was gone now, and all that was left was a soft melancholy tone emanating from his throat, "all I want is for you to acknowledge me …you don't even have to have a conversation with me or anything, just let me know that you're ok. As long as I know that, I can rest easy…I-"

"Oh my God! Someone, help us, please!" A voice cried from down the hall. Tsuzuki popped his head up to see a group of students running down the hallway.

"Hey, Mister!" Two boys were running down the hall propping a third one up in the middle, they ran up to Tsuzuki and rested the body against the wall. The boy was clutching at his chest struggling to breathe but it was no use.

"You have to help us we need to get him to the nurse!" One of the boys said through heaving gasps. With out a second thought Tsuzuki heaved the ailing student onto his back and ran down to meet Asai who was standing out side the door, alarmed by all the shouting, Hisoka collected himself and followed.

Tsuzuki gently laid the struggling boy onto one of the cots in the nurse's office he continued to clutch his chest and flailed around in the process.

"Hey, kid calm down, we're going to try to help you.

He brushed aside black hair to see pleading wide green eyes staring back at him. He stared at the boy's one eye which the cornea was like that of a cat's, or rather a demon's. 

"Hijiri…" He whispered.

TBC...

Tell me what you think please...Shall I continue?


	4. Chapter 4 You're still reading?

Chapter 4

A wind storm had conjured up in the room but nothing was flying around and no one was clinging to each other for dear life although that's how Hisoka felt at the time. The wind wasn't a physical thing but a spiritual burst of aura, energy, chi; whatever you're fancy. It raced through him like a sub zero wind making his hair stand on end. He was almost certain; by the way Tsuzuki's face projected utter astonishment, that he wasn't the only one who felt it.

It was bazaar; the look that Asai had on her face. Hisoka had trouble figuring out whether it was horror or sadistic pleasure, but maybe he came to the conclusion that she was a sadist because he didn't like her all that much. Hijiri writhed on the cot still clawing at is chest in a battle against his lungs to breathe. His pleading eyes were pouring hot tears against his paling face and faded purple lips.

"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM!? DO SOMETHING!" Hisoka screamed at the woman as he grabbed onto her arm in frustration. It was then that realized that he had forgot to put up his barrier and synchronized with Asai. It was like all the sound around him had been drowned out and the earth had been put on pause, everyone was stuck in their frantic poses but there was one very different feature to the scene; those who were once living were now standing bloody masses of carnage.

His knees felt weak and it felt like someone had stuck their hand inside of his chest and was squeezing on his heart. The boys who had dragged Hijiri down the hall were no longer distinguishable. The skin on one student's face was completely gone only revealing the bloody muscles underneath and flecks of white bone. His eyes were cut out and his throat was completely torn up, you could see the bloody cartilage and bone pressing against the skin. His eyes moved down to realize that his entire chest was torn up exposing the human anatomy as Hisoka never wanted to see it. He tried to focus on the floor in a desperate attempt to get the image out of his head but by the one boy's foot was a shiny maroon line on the floor. Hisoka's eyes automatically followed the streak to the other boy's gapping bloody mass of a stomach; he had been disemboweled, blood and things much thicker oozed inside him. Hisoka's hand immediately covered his mouth trying to hold down a horrific scream but a wetness on his face soon brought rise to unwanted curiosity. He pulled his hand away to see that he too was a gory mass of tissue and blood he then franticly began to look around the room and only saw more carnage when he laid his eyes on Hijiri's completely hollowed out body, it just wouldn't end!

He released his grip on Asai and gave a fatigued scream and ran out of the room. His mind was blurry and all he could sense was the hazy vision of the hall way rushing by him and the sound of his own heart beating a mile a minute. He burst into the bathroom and promptly began to loose everything he had eaten that day, his breathing became slower and he wiped his forehead with his sleeve, he then flushed the toilet and tried to get up but he was too weak to start moving again so he gave a thick exhale and brushed his hands up through his hair. He propped his head up with his hands on his face and he elbows on the toilet seat trying to eradicate his mind of the images he saw. His face was wet this time but it was tears that were sliding around on his skin, not blood. Suddenly the door to the bathroom opened, and the sound of clacking on linoleum entered along with a pair of black shoes and a tail end of a trench coat.

"Hisoka…," a soft concerned voice said, "Are you alright?"

"No…I'm definitely not alright…" Hisoka's voice came out very horse and very tired. He decided to get up and leave the stall he walked a few feet and then collapsed against the wall he was now staring at himself in the mirror. His face was almost yellowish green and his eyes had circles under them. Tsuzuki just stared at the boy as he shut his eyes and brought his knees up to his chest.

"What happened?" Tsuzuki said as he slid down the wall next to Hisoka.

"I…saw something…" he said as slowly as he could, trying not to remember what he saw.

"What?"

"I'm not sure…It was…"pictures began to flood back into his mind; he had to close his eyes and bow his head because the images were just too strong. Tears began to fall again from his already burning eyes the feeling was coming back and it made him shiver he felt his body go weak again and had the urge to lay down on the tile of the floor. Strong hands pulled him over to Tsuzuki and onto his lap so Hisoka was now looking up at the purple eyed man.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't feel like it right now…" He said calmingly.

"Tsu-" Hisoka began but was silenced with a calming hush noise. He wasn't accustomed to sitting with anyone in such a manner but for some reason it had given him a sense of comfort "But I thought you hated me…"

"No…" Tsuzuki said softly as he stroked Hisoka's hair, "I never said that. I said I was worried."

"Oh…" Hisoka said as he began to be pulled into sleep by the gentle movements against his head. He was on the verge of slumber when the petting stopped he realized that Tsuzuki was asleep. He sat up from his spot on Tsuzuki's lap and looked at his sleeping face it looked so pleasant and carefree. That face tempted him so much, there were so many things he could do at that moment that he had wanted to do for such a long time, but didn't because of his own stupid reasons, he was male, forever sixteen, and having feelings for someone significantly older than him, in the eyes of the world, everything about that was wrong. He sighed at the hopelessness of his predicament "_Well,"_ he thought _"for this brief moment, the world doesn't have to like it." _He then closed his eyes and placed a small kiss on Tsuzuki's lips.

TBC….

OH! Its soo fluffy I could shoot myself in the face! I didn't think I was capable of writing such…romantic trash! (You DO know I'm talking about the disemboweled bodies, right?…) Anyways, read and review I need your input on this or I'll most likely never finish it. Gory


	5. Chapter 5 God I'm tired

Chapter 5

It had taken a lot of effort for Hisoka to wake Tsuzuki up, he didn't want to interrupt that pleasant face's dreams but they needed to go back and see if Hijiri was alright, not to mention, in his previous state of emergency he hadn't taken the time to realize that they were in the girls' bathroom, they found this fact out the hard way when one of the students entered and screamed "perverts!" at the top of her lungs.

Tsuzuki walked up to Hijiri's side, it had been a year since he saw him last and his form seemed the same, however, his face was a deathly pail and his eyes were like hollow sockets painted with ash. If it wasn't for the slight wheeze emanating from his throat he could have easily passed for dead.

"Is he going to be ok?" Tsuzuki said looking at the pale form.

"Well, I was able to open his air ways," Asai said as she chewed on a pen, her face looked puzzled "but he's in really bad shape, there isn't anything I can do with the lack of equipment here. All I've been able to accomplish is giving him a slight check up."

"Did you find anything?"

"Yes I did," Asai said, she then unbuttoned Hijiri's shirt Tsuzuki's eyes widened into concerned shock at the picture before him, bright red welts striped Hijiri's colorless neck. "If I'm correct, these are the symptoms that have been described, red lash marks on the neck that travel a little lower on the chest, along with trouble breathing, and then this would mean that following this would be…"

Tsuzuki felt weak; in the back of his mind he hoped that he wouldn't have to see Hijiri again. It wasn't because he didn't like Hijiri, in fact it was because he _did like him. Their reunions, if they had anymore, would always be like this though; Death would always hang over Hijiri's head, his scythe constantly poised over his existence, and it would be Tsuzuki's job to knock it away only for it to return for the boy's life once more._

"We have to keep an eye on him tonight; maybe we'll get a clue to what's doing this and we-" Tsuzuki said but was caught in the middle of his sentence when a group of men in white clothing accompanied by a stretcher entered the room.

"Is this the kid?" One of the men asked.

"Yes, his name is Minase Hijiri, I have his records here" Asai said as she handed a manila folder to one of the men. She then helped pick him up and put him on the stretcher.

"I'm going to come along." Tsuzuki said

"I'm sorry sir, but if you're not a blood relative we cannot allow you to." Another one of the men said, they then began to cart Hijiri out of the room.

A slight pang of jealousy crept up inside Hisoka as he watched Tsuzuki's concerned purple eyes follow the boy out of the room, but what right didn't he have to be worried, Hijiri was possibly in a life and death situation. Hisoka should have been smacking himself for not being concerned too.

"Are you alright, Hisoka?" Asai said to the boy, who gave her a confused look.

"You ran out of here looking quite sick." She said with a little amusement in her voice yet her face was pleasant. Hisoka paused for a moment and then had relapse of the violent imagery. He tried the shake the images out, he had no clue how he could have even forgotten such a thing.

"Jesus…What the hell _was _that?!" He said forcefully.

"Was what?" She asked; her face still held its softness.

"I grabbed your arm and then…" He grit he teeth and wished the images would stop coming back.

"Oh…I think I understand now," She said as the pleasantness in her gray eyes faded quickly, "I imagine you saw some things that were a bit peculiar."

"Something a bit _peculiar_?! _Peculiar doesn't even fit what I saw! Maybe we didn't see the same thing."_

"What did you see?" Tsuzuki asked; he had an idea that maybe this all had to do with the strange energy he felt earlier before Hisoka left.

"He saw the fates of the students who came in here earlier. Normally peoples' deaths are not so horrific but in their cases," she paused with a sigh, "well, their going to have an unclean death. Hisoka must have picked it up with his empathy."

"The fates?" Tsuzuki questioned.

"Well, it's more like the state of their body after death. It's an ability that I've had for a long time, I found out that I had it days before my older sister died, it was from a sickness so I could see the marks it left on her body. It horrified me at first, but over time the shock of it dulled. It's only in these cases where the corpses appear with such morbid looking injuries that shock me…" she seemed to drift off with the last of what she said.

Tsuzuki just looked at the growing sadness in her eyes, he couldn't help but feel sorry for her, "I'm sorry to hear it…living that way for so long must have been so depressing, knowing when the end is near for your loved ones must have been a hard thing to bear."

"Not really, death was something I had accepted from the day I was born. It's the world's precept. It just wouldn't work if no one died." She came back her once softened eyes were now as sharp as ever. Hisoka was shocked, the entire time she was talking he was trying to trace the woman's feelings but he suddenly could pick up nothing, not a single feeling or thought was exposed to him.

"Well," she changed the subject abruptly, "you two seemed to have had enough for now. Why don't you guys go take a break? I'll notify you if anything comes up."

"All right, if you think you'll be ok." Tsuzuki as he began to leave the room.

"No worries…" She said waving them out.

"I don't like her." Hisoka said as he placed his tea cup down on the table, they had decided to take a break at a small book café, he looked up from his tea directly at Tsuzuki, who responded with a confused, "Who?"

"Asai, I don't like her, there are things about her that are…strange."

"How so?" Tsuzuki leaned his head to the side onto his hand.

"You didn't notice?"

"Not really…"

"Your so oblivious…," Hisoka he said with a sigh, "She knew I about my empathy…"

"So?" Tsuzuki said and tried to ignore that last comment.

"I never told her I was an empath, she could tell. There isn't anyone I know who can sense that from me, she's obviously run into others like me…I'm not sure but…" he paused for a second.

"But what?"

"We should be careful around her, I think she is a very dangerous woman."

Tsuzuki gave a sarcastic chuckle, "I think your over analyzing, Hisoka. Asai is a perfectly good woman, not to mention she's a _shinigami_ like us, she's our ally, I don't see why you-"

"No you don't get it, Tsuzuki, that woman has an immense mental strength. She's able to toss aside her feelings with great speed and perfection. I pried my mind into her while she was talking just a few minutes ago, and I got nothing at all. She's sealed up and locked tight and there's more-"

"You really shouldn't be-"

"Damn it, stop thinking the best of her! You need to hear me out, its for your safety." Hisoka was beginning to sound a bit frantic.

"My safety?" He said with a confused look on his face.

"When she was talking about her sister I noticed something…"

"And what was that?"

"For a brief moment she let her barrier down slightly, it wasn't much, but from the emotion that I _could_ feel from her, I felt something disturbing…it was pleasure…she was pleased about her sister's death…"

Tsuzuki looked down at his coffee, it did shock him that she would be happy about the death of her sister, but he had a hard time believing it, the look on her face when she told them, completely contradicted what Hisoka picked up, "Maybe she has her reasons…"

Hisoka's eyes blazed a brilliant green; he stood up and slammed his hands on the table making his tea slosh about. "Even if her sister was a horrible person no one would feel this pleased over death! Please, Tsuzuki! I don't want you to get hurt, promise me you'll keep your eyes on her!"

"Hisoka…" Tsuzuki said, he didn't know what to say, Hisoka's open concern for his safety was astonishing.

"Promise me!" He demanded again.

"Ok, I promise." Tsuzuki gave a tired smile and stood up, "…Its almost noon , I think we should go and visit Hijiri, hopefully he'll be awake enough to answer questions…" Hisoka watched as Tsuzuki sighed and picked up his coat which was draped on the chair, he stopped for a moment and his eyes grew wide, he dropped his coat and began to collapse. Hisoka luckily caught him and settled him down to his knees on the floor, his hand braced the violet eyed man and kept him from falling over.

"Tsuzuki, what's wrong?" Hisoka said in a panicked tone, Tsuzuki then stood up again this time he wobbled a bit but soon caught his balance. He picked his coat up for a second time and slipped it on.

"Sorry, Hisoka… could you go visit Hijiri without me?" He asked his voice was a little weaker than normal, "I think I need to see Watari…"

"O…k…" Hisoka said as he watched the other man slowly exit the café.

TBC

Ok… sorry, I'm a little tired so if some bits of this didn't make sense, forgive me. Anyways tell me what you think please…you guys who read this are the reason I continue so R&R please.

Also if you like this story remember to tell your friends and family, so then more people can feel the love! Love! *yay!*….wow….I'm gonna go to bed now…g'night folks.


	6. Chapter 6

Ok, chapter six, sorry this one is a tad short. Anyways R&R and don't hold back on the comments. Oh and if you wanna get a hold of me and give and tell me how I'm doing, my screen name for AOL instant messenger is SolarusV50.

Chapter 6

"Tsuzuki! What…" An alarmed Watari said; he rarely saw Tsuzuki in his lab unless the situation was bad, since normally all injuries would heal before they even reached _EnmaCho, and by the tired expression and the paling skin, things were defiantly not "honky dory"_

He put his glasses on and closed in on Tsuzuki as if he couldn't believe that he standing right in front of him. "Jesus, it looks like you've been hit by a truck, sit down." He grabbed the lavender eyed man's arm and pulled him over to a puke green folding chair.

"It's not as bad as it looks." Tsuzuki said forcing a smile.

"What do you mean, 'not as bad as it looks'? You look like a damn zombie!" He couldn't help laughing at the truth of it; normal phrases on poor health like, _you look like death_ or _you're as white as a ghost _just couldn't be used on someone who was already dead.

"I'm just a little out of it." Tsuzuki said as he placed his forehead against his laced fingers.

"Yeah, that may be but it's obviously not just nothing since you took the extra effort to come all the way back here. You want me to take a look at you, other wise you would have just gone back to the hotel."

Tsuzuki sighed and gave a weak chuckle, "You found me out."

"So what's the problem?" Watari took a seat in a much nicer chair across from Tsuzuki's nasty green one.

"Well, just a few minutes ago, I was out at a café with Hisoka, we chatted for a while and everything seemed fine until we got up to leave. I got up and went down for my jacket, which was on the back of the chair, when I saw the floor start to spin…and your going to laugh, but my jacket grew arms and legs and started to do a dance," He couldn't help but laugh at how stupid it sounded he could hear the slight chuckle by the equally amused scientist, "and then after that I got really light headed and almost collapsed. Well actually I think I _did_ collapse but Hisoka kept me from falling completely to the floor...but you know, it's all kinda blurred."

Watari leaned back in his fancy chair and he made noise which seemed like a mixture between a sigh and an 'mmmmm' noise.

"Well," he said, "did you drink any amount of alchohol before this? Take any strange drugs, skip any meals?"

"No."

There was silence for a moment; Watari's face was pinched up in strange thinking faces.

"Mm…Have you noticed you have a slow reaction time?"

"Sort of… I don't really know. It's not like I'm running into walls or anything."

"Are you irritable at all, is your quality of work bad," he laughed "well worse than normal?"

"Hey, I'm not _that unproductive…"_

He chuckled "Sorry, I couldn't help myself."

"Yeah, yeah, I know…" He said with a sigh. "But anyways, I'd have to say yes to everything"

"Well… from what you've told me it sounds like you've got symptoms of insomnia." The scientist said lazily.

"Well I guess that makes sense, I haven't been sleeping well lately."

"So, what do you think is the cause of your lack of sleep? Do you just not feel tired or what?"

"I don't know really."

"Do you have some unresolved problems that need to be taken care of, although, I doubt its work that's bothering you." His eyes became soft.

Silence had killed the conversation and left it dead and bleeding on the floor. He had a pretty good idea of what was getting to him but there was no way he could just bring up Hisoka and not look like a total moron. He could rant on a on about how he's been treated the last few months yet he could also just blather on about that strange animal attraction that tears at his chest when he sees those emerald eyes glance in his direction and how unworthy he is of even that much attention from the boy.

Watari stared at the silent man, his appearance alone wasn't very good but it wasn't his physical state that worried him, it was that monster in the closet that often peered through the key hole, which frightened him. And from the way the ghostly looking Tsuzuki sat silent in the chair in front of him, he felt that maybe the monster was, once again, beginning to pick at the lock which restrained him. Kyoto had been an example of just how dark Tsuzuki could get and no one desired to see that again.

"Well, this is what I'm going to do," Watari jumped up out of his chair and began to rummage through a cabinet, "I'm going to prescribe to you some sleeping pills-"

"Ah, no that's all right I don't need them really-" Tsuzuki said quickly

"Belive me, you do." Watari insisted.

"Well can't I just take some home remedy, like drinking warm fluids or something?"

"Why is this such a big problem for you?"

"I just don't like medication that will have such an- adverse effect on me."

"Adverse? How? You want to sleep don't you?"

"Yes, but I just… I don't feel comfortable taking medications…in the past I've been forced to take things that had unpleasant results and it brings back some painful… thoughts…"

"But, Tsuzuki, you have to trust me this is good for you," he put the bottle of pills in Tsuzuki's hands and gave them a tight reassuring squeeze, "and from what I heard…sleep disorders are nothing new to you..." Tsuzuki pulled his hand away as if he'd been stung.

"I'm sorry, I'm just worried, and as your friend I just don't want to see you revert back to...that state, again…"

Tsuzuki pushed a weak smile onto his face "I understand, if my situation gets bad enough I'll take them." His voice sounded as weak as his smile, he then walked to the door. "Thank you for your help, Watari."

He raced out of the building and threw his back against a Sakura tree and slid down it, his coat catching every so often on the bark. Wet streams glided across his cheeks as he brought his knees up to him, his hands clenching his hair. He didn't need to hear the rest of what Watari had to say. The man was only concerned with his health but in the process he hit too close to home. For a while now he had felt _"that state"_ scratch at his skin and collect like rain in the rough scar tissue on his wrist. The sick sensation had been slithering over his body like a snake for weeks now and made him want to slash, hack, rip at his skin; anything to rid himself of that sensation. It amazed him that he was suppressing these thoughts for as long as he had been, normally he would have snapped by now.

_"Oh God, now is not the time for this! I'm more useless to everyone if I continue on like this…" _He thought, with a sigh he composed himself and stood up, _"I'll have to push my demons aside for now…" _

_TBC… _


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey, are you awake yet?" A voice echoed along with the orchestra of the air conditioner set on high. It had to easily be the hottest day of the year, the heat rising off the road could be seen from just a few feet away.

"Hijiri?" The sound came again and cut through the darkness of a gradually dissolving dream world. Hijiri opened his eyes, it took a while to focus at the entity talking to him, but he could soon make out blond hair and green eyes which mirrored his own sitting in the chair next to his bed. The resemblance between he and Hisoka was amazing really, how could there be two people in the world who look exactly alike yet have not even the slightest relation to each other? The truth may have been that the genetic out come of offspring wasn't as infinite as people thought.

"Hey, Hisoka." Hijiri said with a smile. He had regained his color but he still looked sickly and his voice was still a little raspy. 

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Not too bad, surprisingly." He laughed.

"That's good," he gave a small smile and cut right to the chase "I've come to ask you a few questions."

"Oh? I'll answer them as long as you can answer a few of my own. Why are you here?" He sat up and leaned against the metal head bored of his bead.

"Well, we've been getting a lot of reports about kids dying at your school, but it doesn't have any relation to the suicide rate. The kids have been victims of a virus or something of the sort, claiming symptoms like what you experienced."

"Oh great, so I'm going to die?"

"Well, not if we can prevent it."

"We? You mean Tsuzuki is working with you on this?"

"Yeah, he's my partner, it's required." The boy's face instantly lit up.

"How come he's not with you?"

"He wasn't able to come for questioning. Now about what happened…"

"What's he doing?" All these questions about Tsuzuki were starting to piss Hisoka off.

"Listen, that's not what I came here to talk to you about, I need to find out what's causing you and your classmates' sicknesses." Hisoka said with an irritated tone.

"You seem kinda touchy about Tsuzuki." Hisoka felt heat rise up in him, and it wasn't only the hot weather that was getting to him. He unbuttoned the top of his shirt in hopes it would cool him off a bit.

"No, I just want to do my job."

"What is he to you?"

"What?" The kid was getting on his nerves fast with his barrage of questions.

"Do you have feelings for him?" 

_"Jesus, I know where he's going with this..." _Hisoka thought, he desperately wished he could melt to a puddle on the floor and avoid the whole conversation but Hijiri was relentless.

"What? No. He's a guy." He tried to act like he was disgusted at the thought.

"You're so quick to answer...are you sure? I thought-"

Hisoka got up out of his chair and placed both hands on Hijiri's shoulders hoping he would make him get the picture and shut up. Hijiri looked a little surprised at the sudden movement.

"Hijiri, stop! I don't feel anything for him! Do you get it?"

"Get what?" A familiar voice came from behind them. Hisoka's eyes widened and his face turned crimson, he took his hands away from Hijiri and quickly turned around to see Tsuzuki standing in the doorway. He wasn't looking as bad as he was before, his color had come back but he still looked exhausted.

"Uh- nothing." Hisoka said tensely.

"Oh, well I'm sorry I'm late. How far did you get with the questions?"

"We haven't even started, so you came at the perfect time." Hisoka said, still sounding a bit pissed.

"Um, Hisoka? Can I talk to Tsuzuki for a moment?" Hijiri asked.

"Sure, it was getting a little too hot in here anyways." He left the room closing the door behind him. The hallway was much cooler but a little darker, he leaned up against one of the snow white walls, just a few feet from the door. He sighed and wiped the sweat off his forehead.

"Is it hot in there?" A rich voice came up next to him, nearly causing him to have a heart attack.

"Jesus! You scared me, Asai." He tried to slow his heart beat back down to normal. He didn't even hear her walking near him; the woman either floated or just had a way of walking heels that prevent any sound. He guessed the later.

"I'm terribly sorry; I have a tendency of doing that." She leaned up against the wall across from him, her eyes looked like they changed colors, her once gray orbs were now a bright cerulean blue that matched the color of Tatsumi's. Grayish eyes have a tendency of changing color depending on what color is around them, the bright blue sleeveless blouse she was wearing must have been the culprit.

"Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be at the school?"

"I'm on break, so I decided to come by and see if I could lend a hand. You sound like you don't like me here."

"No offence, but I don't."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I only wish to extend a hand of friendship with you."

"_Extend a hand of friendship?" he mocked her, "I don't believe that shit."_

Asai said nothing, instead she just laughed.

"What are you laughing at?"

The woman suddenly closed the distance across the hall and pushed him into the wall gently, her arm just above his head.

"Why do you hate me so much, boy?" she said in a breathy tone, "hmm?" A cold energy radiated from her body and played along Hisoka's skin like a thousand frozen hands that kept his back stiff against the wall.

"What are you?" His voice wavered with fear. Asai just locked her cerulean gaze with his and placed a long crimson fingernail lightly on his chest as if he never asked the question.

"Hmm? What's this?" she said softly as she lightly traced the scars on his chest, "A memoir of something unpleasant? Perhaps…_murder_?" the way "murder" rolled across her tongue made him feel sick. He wanted to scream out but every time he tried the cold gasped tighter around his neck.

"How about _torture?" She continued as she pressed a little harder. She moved her thin fingers down further; popping buttons open on his shirt exposing more of his torso. His body trembled as she traced the pink trails down to his belly where he let out some small whimpers. "_Oh, God, Tsuzuki, someone, anyone, save me! Tsuzuki…please…help me…" __

"Or maybe…_rape?" His eyes widened with horror and he now began to frantically move about trying to avoid the woman's touch; still making his small helpless noises. He wanted someone to come out and save him, he wanted to yell to Tsuzuki for help so badly, but her energy was clamping down on his larynx._

"Ahh…yes, that's it isn't it?" she said with a slight muse to her voice. The cold wind that played on Hisoka's skin had died down. His fear satisfied her enough to allow him to speak slightly.

"You twisted demon! What the fuck are you?! If Tsuzuki finds you like this he'll kill you!" He tried to scream but his voice was too muffled for it to travel to his target in the room behind him.

Anger rose to Asai's eyes, she flattened her hand on his stomach and dug the tips of her nails into him, the hand that rested on the wall above him was now full of blonde hair that yanked his head back. "You're best to know where your place is, _boy. Tsuzuki is nothing compared to me!" She smiled at the boy, his heart raced like a humming bird's in her hand, the small quick beating sensations made her want to squeeze the life out of it._

A sudden rush of heat flamed over his skin and his vision was taken away and replaced with pictures and emotions flashing through his head. His empathy was picking up hundred's of years worth of violent memories and feelings and it sent an energy through his body that was unlike any other he had experienced. He couldn't decipher whether the sensations he was feeling were the pain of endless torture or the pleasure of an organism. He clawed at the hand that kept him against the wall but the heat was too unbearable and scorched his skin. There was nothing he could do, he let her push him into the wall and waited for it all to end.

TBC…..

And so the plot thickens…hope you enjoyed this chapter, I thought this one was kinda fun to write. Anyways, don't be afraid to tell me what you think. Again, if you want to get a hold of me for comments my screen name for AIM is SolarusV50, I also take e-mails. Tootles for now my lovelies… 


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry it's been a while anyways I'm pushing the story right along so for this chapter…um…RAMMING SPEED! AHAHAHAHA!...Read and review please!

Chapter 8

"Hey Watari...I'm sorry I ran out on you so suddenly…"

"It's ok. Are you going to take the pills?" The friendly voice said.

"Well, not until I think I'm really going to need them."

"Tsuzuki you can't just say that, what if something happens worse than hallucinations?"

"Well I'll just have Asai look at me then and if she says for me to take the pills, I'll take them."

"Asai? Whose Asai?" The voice sounded confused.

"Asai Oki she was assigned here to work with us since she has experience in medicine."

"That's weird, how come the chief didn't assign me?"

"I dunno maybe you need another type of training or something...Anyways I got to go. I'll call you if anything comes up."

"You promise?"

"Promise."

"Ok then, I'll talk to you later."

Tsuzuki folded his phone up and stuck it in the breast pocket of his coat and turned around to see Hijiri sitting in his bed looking out the window next to him. He looked so skinny and frail amongst all the blankets around him.

"So how are you feeling?" Tsuzuki asked.

"Much better." Hijiri said with a wide smile.

"Well that's good to hear, it didn't look good when the other students brought you in."

"Yeah…" He said looking down at as his hands clenched the blue fleece blanket on his lap.

"What's the matter?" Tsuzuki said at the boy's sudden sullen demeanor.

"I'm not going to live much longer, am I?" The boy said; it was more of a statement than a question.

"What? What makes you say that?"

Hijiri paused for a moment and looked out the window; the image of children playing outside made his bitter heart sigh.

"I know what happened to me…And it's the reason why you're here, it was only by luck that I was saved."

Tsuzuki was speechless the once rather cheerful child he saw a few minutes ago had turned into a sour old man.

"Death is taking shots at me but you guys just keep fending them off...it's only a matter of time before-"

"You're not going to die," Tsuzuki argued.

"Yes, I am, Tsuzuki, I'm going to die."

"No you aren't, I'll protect you." An itchy heat was coming to his wearing sleepless eyes.

"I know you're offering that from the bottom of you heart, but it's inevitable, this is my karma, you can't stay on earth for my entire life and stop me from getting hit by cars or getting jumped in an ally, it's unrealistic."

"Hijiri…" Tsuzuki said faintly. The boy was right and he knew and all he could feel at that moment was uselessness, he knew that he couldn't protect him and that his friend would be lost soon. A spear had been driven through his heart and his eyes could no longer hold the tears.

"Tsuzuki why are you crying?!" The boy looked in shock.

"You're right…there isn't anything I can do…but, I cant just sit and watch people die anymore!" His crying had turned into sobbing and all comfort had denied him, he fell to his knees with his head in his hands. He thought of another soul leaving a pair of lifeless eyes and he couldn't take it anymore. He wished to God that there was something he could do but the truth was, it was out of his hands and it was never in them to begin with.

"_If everyone is going to die, I'm going be alone in the end! I don't want to be alone again!" His thoughts were running rampant through his head and were tearing at everything he was. He wanted to rip at his skin or pull out his hair, anything to make his inner pain disappear. Suddenly his chaos was soothed by the feeling of a warm hand on his head._

"_Hisoka?" His weary mind thought._

A pair of green eyes soon followed that unclaimed hand.

"Tsuzuki, it's alright…don't cry anymore. _Please_, I can't bear to see you like this," The green eyes said, "I love you." The tender words wrapped around Tsuzuki's heart like a blanket and filled him with a comforting warmth that no words could possibly explain. The feeling was cosmic and made energy spill from every part of his body, he tried to keep it all in but he was failing miserably.

He grabbed the boy in front of him and brought him close but the boy lifted his head from the embrace and began to plant light kisses on his face, he kissed his eyes, nose, cheeks and practically everywhere else except his mouth teasing the purple eyed man, making him crave for more affection. The kisses continued down his neck and felt like butterflies dancing on his skin and made his body rise; he couldn't take it anymore, he grabbed the boy's head and brushed his lips against his. The sensation sent tingling warmth up and down the boy's spine causing him to press against him. His tongue was now exploring the warm taste of Tsuzuki and it only made his body crave more.

Tsuzuki's shirt was now coming off and the boy on top of him, Hijiri's slender hands were exploring the smooth white skin of his chest, his fingers brushed against his nipples causing his hips to move upward and a moan to emanate from his throat. Hijir's mouth had moved to his chest and he pushed him to the ground. Suddenly the coolness of the linoleum floor against his heated skin thrust him out of his world clouded by love and things less deep and he realized where he was.

Hijiri sat on top of him, his shirt was half off and a confused expression was painted on his face. Tsuzuki suddenly sat up and pushed the boy off of him, he frantically began to button up his shirt and again and grabbed his coat.

"Tsuzuki? What's the problem, did I do something wrong?"

"Ah n-no…I have to go."

"Will you come back?" The boy said in a sad tone.

"M-maybe." He then headed to the door.

He had to get out of there and quick, he didn't know what he was doing. On his way out he nearly tripped on Hisoka who was sitting on the floor, his blonde head turned downward.

"Hisoka! Why are you on the floor?"

Hisoka sat there for a moment not uttering a word; he then struggled to his feet, he looked up but did not meet the concerned lavender eyes looking at him. The boy's face was very close to white and his lips were a sickly purpley-blue color.

"Shit…What's happened to you?" He said out of disbelief.

"Your disgusting, Tsuzuki."

"What?"

"I said your disgusting!" Hisoka screamed and began to run away.

"Hisoka wait! Please," He said as he grabbed the boy's arm but he quickly let it go, "Hisoka your skin is scolding hot! Are you sick?"

"…I saw you…and Hijiri...." Hisoka said quietly, he could feel his knees getting weaker and weaker as he stood, "and…I want…I…want…to go home." His legs then gave under him and he fell. Strong arms caught him before he made it to the ground and a hand was cradling his head.

"I'm sorry, Hisoka. I didn't mean to hurt you…" Tsuzuki said to the feverish boy; he picked him up in his arms and began down the hall when he was stopped by the feeling of a hot tear fall onto his hand. "I'm so sorry…"

T.B.C

A tad steamy but that's not so bad is it? I'm sorry again it took me so long to update, school is a bitch and there isn't much more to say about it. I'll hopefully update again soon and if I don't you can badger me all you want until I do.


	9. Chapter 9

This ones a kinda long chapter, I actually was going to write more in this one but I thought it would be too much. Also there are alot of "..."'s in Hisoka's speech I just wanted to make it sound like he was really struggling with words because he was sick and also very pissed. Anyways, enjoy.

Chapter: 9

"Oh God…where…am I?" Hisoka struggled out. He moved his hand up to his forehead to try and ease a headache that was slamming on his skull but there were hands already there. "_Hands?_" He opened his eyes and saw his familiar brunette haired friend looking down, his eye brows arched in sadness and worry.

"You said you wanted to go home but I couldn't bring you there, so I thought that a hotel would be the next best thing." He picked up a wet cloth from a green ceramic bowel next to him; he put the wet fabric on the boy's head.

The wet cloth was refreshing against his skin but the coolness brought him slightly back to reality. He remembered after Asai attacked him she disappeared and he was crawling to the door to get Tsuzuki but found him on the floor with Hijiri on top of him; the thought made his stomach churl.

"Leave me…alone..." The boy said as he rolled over on his side; his back to Tsuzuki. It hurt him to push him away but he didn't want to be around him, it was too painful.

"I'm sorry but I can't." Tsuzuki said softly.

Hisoka sighed and just lay silent for a while, he wasn't in the mood to argue he just wanted to rest. He sat in a half asleep half awake state and just stared at the wall, there was a painting by what looked like Vincent Van Gogh's work; crows flew over a wheat field in the dead of night; the wheat field was divided by three roads running through it. He thought it would have made a nice conversation piece given he had the strength and desire to talk. Suddenly a cool hand rolled him onto his back, Tsuzuki was leaning over the side of the bed; his elbows on either side of the boy. He pulled a thermometer out of a blue plastic case; he gently opened Hisoka's mouth and stuck it under his tongue.

"Sixty seconds?" He asked Hisoka, who just nodded. Tsuzuki had never really been sick before due to his regeneration ability, so taking care of sickly people was new to him. He felt bad though, he was sure that after a life of being deathly ill, Hisoka would be reliving some unpleasant memories.

Sixty seconds was up and Tsuzuki took the thermometer out he glanced at it a bit and his eyes widened with shock, "Hisoka…your temperature is 106! I mean…there aren't any more numbers on the thermometer so it could be higher!"

"Oh…just let me die…" Hisoka moaned out. But Tsuzuki wasn't listening he was too busy moving about the room and running in and out of the bathroom. He came back out and sat beside him on the bed he then began to unbutton Hisoka's shirt, but a hand whipped up and slapped him in the face.

"Don't…Don't touch me!" He screamed. He used all his energy to roll of the bed and scramble to the other side of the room, that alone made him feel weak enough to pass out.

"You have to get undressed otherwise you're going to die again!" Tsuzuki said urgently, It sounded funny to him to add 'again' after that sentence but it was the truth..

"I…I don't care! Death is…nothing as long…as...you…you don't touch me!"

"I'm sorry if this is about Hijiri…but why does it bother you so much?"

Hisoka jumped to his feet, "Are you…blind?! Have you…no idea why I avoided you after… Kyoto ?" His voice was growing weaker and weaker with each word and soon he had no energy to stand anymore so he slid down the wall to the floor. Tsuzuki got off the bed and rushed over to Hisoka, he tried to pick him up but the protest was too much for him so he left the boy in the corner and just sat with him.

"Hisoka," Tsuzuki began "I had no idea…I was sure that you had said those things in Kyoto just to keep me from killing myself."

Energy came to Hisoka again, "I did! Can't you put… the pieces together!? I didn't want you to die! And why didn't I want you to die? I didn't... want you too because…because I love you!"

Silence passed between the two. Tsuzuki hated to think it, but he was in shock. He always dreamt about those feelings but he never once ever heard the words spoken to him.

"…I'm sorry about Hijiri, I didn't mean to-"

"Didn't…mean to? How can…can you say that?" Hisoka got up again and walked to the other side of the room, tears were streaming down his face, "He was kissing you…and…and you…let him! If you hadn't of stopped you would …would have…ended up fucking him! I don't know if I can…forget this…"

Hisoka stopped walking as if in thought. He stood there for a moment and abruptly fell to the floor like a limp rag doll.

"...I'm…ok…" Hisoka breathed out as he tried to get up again.

"Jesus, Hisoka!" Tsuzuki said as he ran to him, he felt his skin and it was hotter that it was before, he picked him up and put him on the bed. "Forgive me." He said as he immediately began taking the blonde's shirt off again, white scars lined his chest like a maze the image of them made Tsuzuki flinch. He brought him to the bathroom and placed him in the bath tub full of ice cubes that he had filled up earlier.

Hisoka sat in the tub and made small whimpering noises and shivered uncontrollably. Tsuzuki sat beside the tub and rested his head on the edge, he watched in concern for his friend and wondered what he could have done to make his fever go down, he wondered if he should have taken his pants off as well but he didn't think that he could have gotten away with that. He took a washcloth that was hanging from the towel rack dipped it in the water and rubbed the ice water on Hisoka's face and chest. His tired half lidded green eyes just watched tentatively as his friend tended to his burning skin. His anger was still present but his body didn't care and it was very obvious, he was surprised that Tsuzuki didn't notice or at least if he did he pretended not to.

"I'm sorry…" Tsuzuki broke the silence as he sponged Hisoka down, "I got pulled into the situation with Hijiri on accident. When he hugged me I couldn't help it… he reminded me of you. The moment was so much like the one in Kyoto … days after it happened I realized there was so much that I wanted to do with you. I was thinking if I could relive the moment and say the things I wanted to say then, we wouldn't be having any of these problems…" He stopped for a moment and looked into the water and watched the ice melt away slowly, "…with Hijiri… I realized after he got me on the ground that it wasn't you so I stopped…It was an accident…I don't blame you if you don't believe me but for what its worth I'm sorry…"

"If it… was me you… would have kept going?" Hisoka asked quietly. Tsuzuki didn't answer he just blushed a deep shade of red and gave a slight breathy chuckle. He felt Hisoka's face and gave frustrated sigh; "This isn't working." he said as he wrung the cloth out and hung it back on the towel rack. Hisoka watched as the amethyst eyed man rubbed his temples searching his mind for other solutions.

"_He's trying so hard to help me get better…maybe it really was an accident…" Hisoka thought to himself. _

"Wait! I know!" Tsuzuki said energetically, "Isn't Asprin a fever reducer?"

"I…think so."

Tsuzuki opened up the medicine cabinet in hopes he'd find some Asprin but the cabinet was empty. He sighed and closed the cabinet, "I'm going to go down to the lobby and see if they have a shop where I can get some Asprin. Are you going to be ok here on your own?"

Hisoka gave a slight nod and at that Tsuzuki left. The room was almost pure silence after that, the only noise that he could hear was the sound of the water rippling as he shivered. The room was getting colder and the hairs on his arms were beginning to stand on end. The once calm sound of the water was now becoming less and less apparent and were slowly being drowned out by the sounds of people whispering in his head.The sounds spun around him like he was in a tornado people speaking under their breath, cursing him, insulting him, mocking him. He looked frantically around the room looking for the source of the speech but there was nothing, only the sterile white walls and tile of the bathroom and the blinding yellow aura coming from the overhead light.

Tsuzuki made his way up the hallway and to the door of the hotel room, he speedily got the key out and opened the door, "Hisoka, I'm back." he announced as he walked through the room. He stood for a bit at the end of the hallway, a sick feeling began to gather in the pit of his stomach. He approached the bathroom in which the lights had been turned out and appeared as only a black hollow in the hallway. "Hisoka…" he called again fearing he would receive no answer. He felt up the smooth tiled wall to turn the lights on, his trembling fingers brushed against what seemed like a leaf and something smooth. He switched on the light to observe the object; it was a talisman, it had a small green plant with teardrop shaped leaves stuck to what seemed like circular animal skin with beaded outer edges, as his eyes moved downward his heart stopped; short blond hairs were tied to a bloody mirror; a second glance corrected him, the mirror wasn't what was bloody. Tsuzuki abruptly turned around to see the bathtub splattered with crimson streams.

"Oh God…Not again…"

T.B.C

Well I'm sorry if this chapter was a little uneventful, but it was kind of vital to the story line. Anyways tell me what you think.


	10. Chapter 10

Ok, sorry it took me a while to squeeze this one but a death in my family has kept me from writing. Also, I have been toying at the idea of setting up a little page to accompany this story with illustrations. But I don't know if anyone one would stick around to wait for me to draw them…so…I dunno, tell me if it's a stupid idea or not. And one more tiny note, I'm not sure what type of school Hijiri was at, so I decided to make it a private school where the kids all live on campus. As always R&R.

Chapter 10:

Tsuzuki frantically paced about the room prying his brain for ideas. He had no idea where to look for his partner. There were few places Hisoka would have gone on his own especially in the state he had been left in. He flopped down on the bed and stared blankly into the ceiling praying that an answer would fall from the sky. A slight ringing came from his coat that was laid sloppily out on a chair. He walked to it and pulled the phone from his pocket.

"H-ello?" He said; his voice was shaking and it sounded as if he was whimpering more that talking.

"Tsuzuki its Watari I've just done some research on-"

"Watari Oh my God you gotta' help me! Hisoka's gone missing! I don't know where to look or what to do! I should try to call Asai maybe she knows where he is!" He began to yell frantically, words flew from his mouth a mile a minute so much that the scientist couldn't get a word in.

"Its about Asai I-"

"I don't know what I'm going to do! He's been really sick lately and I don't think he'll live through this if it's anything like what Muraki did to him in the past!"

"Tsuzuki you gotta calm down and listen I-"

"I mean I just left for five minutes and I came back and everything was covered in blood, I gotta call Asai I really need her help my god I don't-"

"Damn it Tsuzuki listen to me! There is no Asai!"

Silence spilled over the phone.

"What? I don't understand…"

"When you told me they assigned someone else instead of me I got suspicious, so I went around and asked people about her, no one knows she exists."

The sound of heavy breathes wavered over the phone.

"Shit…Watari I have to go."

"Wait Tsu-"

Tsuzuki hung up and picked back up and dialed a number he had written down on a wrinkly piece of lined paper. His trembling hands fumbled the phone around as he franticly pushed buttons on the dial pad, sometimes having to hang up and dial again only to accidentally hit the wrong buttons once more.

_"I should have listened to you Hisoka, I should have listened. But I'm stupid, stupid, stupid…oh God, if anything happens to you I won't be able to live with myself." _

The phone rang only once before it was picked up. A choir of bloody screams flooded the speaker causing Tsuzuki to have to pull he phone away from his ear. It was a collage of high and low voices some shrieking, some moaning, some crying. But amongst the voices no one answered.

"Hello?!" Tsuzuki yelled.

The screams continued their commotion.

"Hello?! Asai?"

"Damn it! Asai! Talk to me!" Suddenly the screams died down to silence and rolling laughter replaced it.

"You bitch! Where's Hisoka!"

The laugher ceased a bit and a familiar rich voice could be heard, "It's a shame you didn't solve the case sooner…No matter, you know where I'm at…" another one of her creepy chuckles slid over his skin. "This will be a fun game." 

"Asai! Damn it, stop fucking arou-!" He would have continued but a click rudely signified that the conversation was over.

The humid weather that joined the day had conjured a storm that night. The rain pelted Tsuzuki like small needles falling from the sky as he ran into the night. His destination, he had decided, would be the school although in his heart he dreaded it. The screams echoing through the corridor would have to belong to the students. God only knew what was being done to them to cause such blood curdling screams.

He arrived at the school only to find from the outside that there were no lights on inside the old building, an eerie feeling crept up his spine and made his skin crawl as he climbed the cracked stone steps. He opened one of the heavy wooden doors and felt a sudden cool draft waft from the darkened room; he pushed his damp hair back and continued through the room to find a light switch or a lamp of some sort.

"_No doubt Hisoka is here; who ever took him doesn't like to work in the light."_ Tsuzuki thought as he walked through the foyer. He stopped suddenly when his foot met with something wet and slippery on the ground. He moved backwards a bit to avoid it from seeping into his shoe when something soft and warm brushed against his face leaving a slimy substance on his cheek. Tsuzuki frantically ran from the previous spot to find a light switch he felt the wall and everything above and bellow it searching for something to eliminate the darkness, he had made it nearly half way around the room when his hand met an old switch and he pushed it. The lights around the room turned on and bright sparks flew from the chandelier in the center of the room; smoke soon followed with the smell of burnt flesh.

Tsuzuki's eyes widened and a small helpless squeak left his throat, his legs lost interest in standing and he landed on his knees simply looking up in disbelief and absolute horror. A crimson red puddle he had landed in was slowly being soaked up into his pant legs. Feet dangled over him and limp hands dripped blood from fingertips onto his forehead which soon mixed with tears. The chandelier wasn't too large but large enough to hold four of the students, each with a gold metal branch exiting the front of their lifeless bodies, each one with their own rendition of fear and confusion plastered on their face. The four in the middle were however, center piece to a much grimmer picture; the intestines of many others were strung around the foyer, some were wrapped around the banister to the upstairs like a garland on some sick and twisted holiday. Tsuzuki was too disgusted to care or notice what happened to all the bodies.

Tsuzuki managed to make it too his feet again however his head refused, he stumbled out of the room trying to keep himself from losing his stomach. The next room was as a clean and spotless as it had ever been; he took advantage of a chair set by the window, he sat down and tried to regain his composure by taking deep breaths. The silence in the room was killing him slowly, he wanted to scream or shout anything to rid himself of the rain violently tapping at the glass and sound of his heavy breathing but if he screamed he felt he would breakdown completely.

His wish to break the silence was granted as a cry raged down the hallway and into the room causing Tsuzuki to bolt up and run in its direction.

"HISOKA!" He screamed; praying to God that it was him but also praying that it wasn't.

He swiftly turned a corner and burst out a door into the courtyard. When suddenly he met with piercing blank eyes made of marble. An angel with a sad expression stood on her stone pedestal; her arms were stretched out to her sides and her palms facing upwards as if she was desperately calling to something from above.

"Tsu-" a voice gurgled from the statue.

Tsuzuki stood dumbfounded at first, unsure if the statue was talking to him.

"-zuki" The voice came again but this time was followed by a wet cough. Tsuzuki rushed behind the statue to find Hisoka mimicking the angel's position, only it looked much more painful. He was pinned to the statue with knives that went through his hands and neck; the rain had washed away the blood and sent it to a dark puddle on the ground. His flesh was trying desperately to heal but only achieved to lock the knives in tighter. Green eyes anxiously tore at his partner, screaming for help.

With out words Tsuzuki slowly pulled the knife from the boy's neck trying not to cause anymore damage. Hisoka's eyes widened making up for the screaming his voice could not longer manage. Tsuzuki just looked away trying not to allow those painful eyes to break him. The next to come out were the knives on his hands; they came out easier than the other one but it was evident that the pain was still there by the way Hisoka's body was writhing.

Hisoka slid down from the angel's back and into welcoming arms, he shivered a bit against Tsuzuki who was rocking back and forth chanting: "Thank you god" through a very choked up voice, no doubt the violet eyed man was crying.

"How lovely…" A voice whispered from behind the statue.

Tsuzuki stood up and propped Hisoka up on a stone bench.

"There is always something so attractive about the _queer_ ones…" She said playfully as she appeared from behind the statue, she was soaked in the rain and her clothing clung to her features.

"Get the hell out of here Asai, before I kill you." He warned, the emotion from his voice was gone now and he spoke in monotone.

"What's wrong?" She asked, it was obvious to anyone she was playing dumb to toy with him.

"Die!" He screamed suddenly as he lunged at her with the knife from Hisoka's neck. The blade scraped across the skin on her cheek and she rolled to the side avoided the entire blow to her face. She knelt on the ground her hand overflowing with blood as she covered her wound. Laughter rolled off her throat and she stood up, she held her hand out pushing the shinigami away from her. She slinked up to the statue and wiped the blood from her face onto the angle's forehead. A shadow began to collect at the base of the statue.

"Tell me, Tsuzuki… How old are you exactly? I'm sensing around the hundreds."

"About that."

"I see… so you're just a baby…in this world."

"What? What world?"

"You know, this world of the living dead, the animated, _nosferatu _whatever the fuck you wanna' call it."

"So…"

"So, I'm guessing you're not old enough to have seen one of these before." She smiled a bit as the shadow on the ground was beginning to take a tangible state.

Tsuzuki just stood in silence as he watched the shadow mix and blend.

"The beauty of a demon instilled with holy powers…a confused raging holy spirit encased in a demonic body. Rarely these types of beasts have a grasp on reality and are eternally in confusion, neither pure good nor pure evil; they must live their lives as the nulls of existence… I created this one with the ashes of a monk and the gallbladder of a black magick witch…"

"Well! Aren't _we just a little occult Martha Stewart."_

Asai chuckled a bit; his humor in the situation surprised her. "Quite… Anyways, I've been searching for a long time to find one these with the capability of thinking...it's very uncommon…but I may have found one..." Her silver eyes looked up deviously, "Well, you know…perhaps I was wrong; maybe you _have_ seen one of these before, Tsuzuki."

"What?"

"Anyways, I'll chat with you later. I have to tend to this wound." She said; she then disappeared like fog.

"Wait! Get your ass back here!"

The spirit she left behind began to take an indistinguishable form it tossed and turned like a rabid animal and made hideous noises that sounded like metal being ripped and shredded. It pounced on Tsuzuki, tackling him to the ground; ready to do its master's bidding.

T.B.C…

Sorry, this isn't my greatest chapter, I kinda lost hold of my writing towards the end, I'm also sorry the ending isn't quite as suspenseful as the last chapters, I'd continue but I've been writing all morning (plus this chapter is kinda long) and I didn't want to keep people waiting anymore. So I'll get to this sometime this week. 


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 

The beast lay heavy on top of Tsuzuki; as the violet eyed man tried to roll its heavy weight off of him. He pushed and shoved the beast on top of him but to no success, it only got heavier as he struggled. It was almost at the point were it felt as if it was sinking into his body, into his lungs; making it hard for him to breathe.

"Tsuzuki!" Hisoka called as he ran towards the beast, but as if hitting a brick wall an unseen force pushed him away and he flew across the ground banging his head on a stone.

The beast turned its sights back to the struggling Tsuzuki, and began to press its hands against his neck. Tsuzuki's struggling became weaker and weaker against the monster. The beast started of by softly touching the flesh of his neck but the soft touches soon were forgotten by the sudden slashing sensations ripping at his esophagus.

Tsuzuki's screams jerked Hisoka back to his senses and he got back to his feet. Tsuzuki's neck was being cut over and over by the blood thirsty entity and it suddenly conjured an anger in Hisoka that flared across his skin and made his blood boil. As he watched his partner's delicate body be torn to shreds the rage scratched at his chest screaming to burst out.

_"Tsuzuki..." _Hisoka thought as he stared helplessly at his partner's pail skin slowly become stained redder and redder "_what can I do…I don't know...wait…"_ An idea flew into the blonde's mind.

"Tsuzuki, you got to hang on just a bit longer. I'm going to use _Reibaku! If you can hang on a bit longer I can separate it from you!"_

Hisoka stood across from the beast and calmed the aura around him and brought his hands together, the index fingers up and touching. He had used _Reibaku_ on Tsuzuki once before to separate him from a demon that had possessed him way back when; he hadn't hurt him too much then and he was almost certain that he could live through it once more. Hisoka closed his eyes and led the energy around him flow about like wind.

"_Reitsu, zai, sen, hei, sha, kai, jin…" _he began but the monster began to push him back again. It pushed on him with bone breaking force but Hisoka stood as still as stone forcing the rest of the incantation out. "_Hei, sha, kai, jin, retsu…" _The beast was becoming angry and forced harder on the boy; pushing him to the ground causing his knees to buckle and his bones to creak. "_ZAI, SEN!"_ He screamed and as expected the monster flew from Tsuzuki's body and slammed against the brick wall of the building.

The beast regained its composure and raged forward at Hisoka pinning him against the wall. But he slid down underneath it and ran across to the angel. He recalled Asai calling the shadow from the Angel so he assumed that the angel was the source of some sort. He began to bang and smack the statue hoping something would move and hopefully destroy the statue but nothing budged. He found a small hinged metal door at the bottom of the statue and tried to open it but it wouldn't shift either. The monster tackled him from the back and smacked him against the statue. The stone dug into his gut knocking the wind out of him and causing him to go dizzy for a moment. He saw the knives that were in his neck lying on the ground and picked one up, he then swirled around and stabbed the beast in the neck. It shrieked and started to curl up and writhe on the ground just giving Hisoka enough time to pry the little door open with the knife, he stuck his hand in the small compartment and pulled a bag out. He dumped out the bag and ashes spilled out onto the ground along with a small blob.

_"This must be the organ and the ashes that Asai was talking about!" _

The beast began to rise again but Hisoka mashed at the charms with his hand and the knife before the beast could continue its rampage. It beast screamed and writhed once more and then burst into flames which soon died down with in seconds to ashes. Hisoka stood for a moment to catch his breath when it occurred to him that his partner was still laying on the ground just a few feet behind him.He ran to Tsuzuki, and took his pulse on his wrist since his neck was far too mangled to find one; he prayed that he was still alive.

He sat silently for a moment his hand still placed on the pulse in his wrist."Beat…come on…Tsuzuki you stubborn bastard, beat…" He said quietly as he waited but the beat would not come. He placed his ear on his chest hoping that maybe the heartbeat was so weak that he couldn't feel it in his wrist but again there was only silence in his friend's body.

"Tsuzuki…come on… get up! Tsuzuki!" Hisoka screamed as he placed his hands on the _shingami's_ cold face. "Oh god…" Hisoka said as he sobbed; the tears slid down his face and mixed with the rain which began to fall harder from the sky. He dropped his head back on Tsuzuki's chest and muffled his crying in Tsuzuki's shirt. He suddenly felt chilly and started to shake a bit whispering, "I'm sorry" helplessly, over and over again.

His crying went on for a while until he came to terms with his friend's death. He took Tsuzuki's coat off and draped it over his head; he then leaned back and stared up at the rain gently falling and caressing his face.

_"What am I going to tell everyone? Tsuzuki was the oldest employee there…how is everyone going to cope?...How am I going to cope…" _He thought. 

He also wondered what would happen with Asai. He didn't think that anyone could fight her and win. He knew for a fact she was too strong, most of all Tsuzuki knew…he knew more than anyone now. He then began to wonder what would happen to Tsuzuki, he wasn't sure if there was a life after a second death. Would Tsuzuki just stop existing or would he just float endlessly in blackness for eternity? He began to cry again, he couldn't bear to imagine Tsuzuki in that type of world, he never liked to be alone and now the loneliness would eat at him and drive him mad.

Hisoka slumped over Tsuzuki once again and sobbed into him again. He wanted him alive. He wanted to talk to him, touch him, hold him, kiss him, everything he didn't do when he had the chance.

"Tsuzuki…come back…please. I don't think I'm strong enough for this…" He sobbed. Suddenly as if an angel had breathed warm life into his lungs, Tsuzuki's chest rose. Hisoka bolted up and threw back the jacket; the neck wound had healed up, Tsuzuki's eyes fluttered open and he sat up blearily. Hisoka stared in disbelief for a moment and then pushed the violet eyed man back to the ground and kissed his soft lips franticly. Tsuzuki made startled noises at first but then realized what was going on and a fuzzy heat roamed around in his stomach allowing him to relax as the boy on top of him pressed his mouth to his. He brought his hands up behind the blonde's head and weaved his hand through his hair. A small gasp exited Hisoka's throat as tongue and teeth brushed against him. It felt different to him; he had kissed the violet eyed man before but he was asleep and he wasn't…moving, he wasn't sure how to continue.

Hisoka sat up slowly; blushing and catching his breath yet secretly he reminisced over the satin lips, aching to touch them again. Tsuzuki lay still on the ground looking up at the exquisite body on top of him; the rain around him had slowed a bit and fell like stars as the drops caught the city lights. The yellows and the greens seemed to make his features glow as if he was only composed of ethereal materials.

"Lovely." Tsuzuki said simply. Hisoka just sat and confusedly blinked at him.

Tsuzuki reached up and pulled the boy back down to him and kissed him again only this time the kisses were less rushed and more passionate, his tongue traveled in and out of his mouth and danced in the boy's warmth. The blonde made small noises as teeth made small nips at his lips. Tears that were remnant in his eyes slid down his cheeks and on to Tsuzuki's causing him to pull away.

"Hisoka, why are you crying?" He asked; his eyes questioning.

"I thought you weren't going to come back to me…you were lifeless for about an hour, I was almost sure that you had…" His eyes began to water again.

"Well, I'm here now…and I'm sorry…"

"For what?"

"I left you alone…I shouldn't have left when you were so sick…" It then occurred to him that Hisoka wasn't as hot as he was before, "by the way…how are you feeling?"

Hisoka had to think about it he wasn't sure how he felt; he didn't feel sick anymore for some reason. "Surprisingly, amazing…", It then came to him that his sudden sickness was connected to that run in with Asai at the hospital. But why would she take the sickness off him now? His thoughts were interrupted when the man under him arched his neck a bit to plant a chaste kiss on Hisoka's lips.

"I'm glad to hear it." He said with a relieved smile.

Hisoka pulled Tsuzuki up to bring him closer, "Let's go back."

TBC…

Hehe…this was fun…tell me what you think. Also let me know about the illustrations idea. I think it would be fun to do but I'm not going to spend my time drawing if no one wants to see it, if you want some samples of my work check out my deviant art profile: www.lagiaconda.deviantart.com

Again, reviews please. ^_^


	12. Chapter 12

12.07.03

It's like 12:00 pm right now, and I'm half dead, so if this doesn't come out right well, you'll all know why. I may stop through this again and correct any messed up sentences that I accidentally over looked; anyways I feel this may be an enjoyable chapter, so tell me what you think.

The hotel room was dry and welcoming when they entered, the cleaning lady was nice enough to clean up the mess in the bathroom with out question. Tsuzuki hung his coat over the bar that was meant to hold up a shower curtain, they had been completely soaked by the time they return due to the never ending rain.

Tsuzuki flopped down on one of the twin beds and let out a miserable sigh while massaging his temples, he was trying to focus on forgetting the night had ever happened and get some sleep. His eye lids began to get heavy after a while and for what seemed like only a second, he began to drift off in to a blank sleep devoid of dreams, he awoke to a weight sitting on the bed next to him.

"Hisoka," he said with a half smile on his face, despite his fatigue Hisoka could tell it was genuine, however pleased it made Hisoka he couldn't hide his concern, "How long was I asleep?" He asked as he slowly sat up.

"About an hour, Tatsumi and Watari are on the phone," He said as he handed the hotel phone to him, "I've already talked to them but its best they explain things to you."

Tsuzuki just complied silently and took the phone, "Hello?" he said groggily.

"Tsuzuki, its Tatsumi. Hisoka and Watari have informed me on the situation and Asai. The GuShoShin looked her up based on the information we got, and found a record of death. But her name isn't Asai Oki, its Asai Nami.

"Nami? What?" Confusion didn't hide from his voice.

"Yes, her real name is Asai Nami; when we looked up Asai Oki we only found her deceased older sister."

"She took on her sister's identity…so her planning must be a lot deeper than we thought, she knew that if any suspicions rose we'd check the data base. So she is targeting us for some reason."

"But there's more, the _real_ Asai Oki died from an unknown illness, three months before her wedding…"

"Murder?"

"It makes sense since Nami was having an affair with Oki's fiancé. I guess Nami felt that when her lover refused to break off the engagement she would break it off herself, thus poisoning her sister and eliminating the problem."

"Does it say how she poisoned her?"

"No, but considering the time period I'm guessing herbs…no doubt some form of witchcraft seeing as her family was from a long line of village mystics and clairvoyants. Speaking of which, her grandmother was quite psychic, it may have some ties to Nami's death since the grandmother was the one who killed her."

"How?"

"She pushed her off a cliff."

"I guess that's why she's still around she led and unclean life and met and unclean death." 

"And now because of her age and her threat to the mortal world, she's been classified as a demon."

"Her age? Why her age?"

"She's almost a thousand years old. Most spirits are found by _shinigami or just go insane and wander the world confused. However in her case, she's been able to fight the _shinigami_ off and maintain her mind through her magic."_

"Jesus," Tsuzuki breathed, "So why is she going after people in the school? And exactly how is she doing it all?"

"I'm not sure how she's doing it but she's feeding of peoples' pain, Hijiri's school had a high suiside rate so she took advantage of it."

"Maybe not as many people died as she hoped…"

"What?" Tatsumi asked.

"When I went to the school," He paused to take a moment to breathe before continuing, "The entire foyer was covered with dismembered and mutilated bodies."

"Jesus…how many were there?"

"Too many to count, that's all I know…"

Some key board clicking was heard over the phone, some small murmurs and then silence.

"What's going on?" Tsuzuki asked.

"We just checked the new death report for that section… it says… that 59 students were killed; one among them was Minase Hijiri…"

Tsuzuki stopped for a moment and gave some heavy sighs trying to keep his composure.

"What?! How?! He was in the hospital! That doesn't make sense!" Tsuzuki was silent for a long time until Tatsumi spoke up.

"I'm so sorry, Tsuzuki…"

"T-Tatsumi, I have a lot more to ask you but, can I call you back tomorrow?"

"Sure...it's late anyways and you should probably get some sleep." 

"Thank you. Bye." Tsuzuki hung up the phone and just sat holding his head in his hands.

Hisoka stood bewildered at Tsuzuki's sudden devastated demeanor.

"What's wrong?" Hisoka asked.

"Nothing…I just need some sleep." Tsuzuki said still fighting tears.

Hisoka didn't want to pry so he let him get away with his "it's nothing", "Well, at least change into dry clothes…"

"I will in a minute…I just need to sit for a second…"

"Alright…I'm going to go change. I'll be right back." Hisoka said as he gathered up some dry clothes to take into the bathroom and closed the door.

"_I hope nothing happens again…I can't take this anymore, its too much stress…I don't think Tsuzuki can take anymore either. He looks so terrible..."_ Hisoka thought as he changed his clothes. Although it seemed like Asai would leave them be for a while he still felt nervous like she was lurking in every shadow.

"_Damn it, If I'm afraid of her then she's winning..." _He wanted to smack himself, but he knew he was going to have that fear with him for at least a little while; he had every right to be shaken by what she did. After all, it's not everyday that you have some crazy woman stake your body to a statue.

He took his wet clothes and hung them over a towel rack, and headed to bed but as he pushed the door open he was caught like a deer the head lights. He gave a small gasp and his legs felt weak; a steady white knuckled grip on the doorframe kept the boy upright as he watched Tsuzuki stand with his back to him as he moved too pick a dry shirt off the bed. Hisoka was mesmerized by muscles and bones twisting and turning underneath the man's flawless skin. Hisoka had no idea that the man affected him like that; every inch of him had filled with complete lust. Tsuzuki slid the shirt over himself and turned around a little shocked to see Hisoka standing there. 

"What? Is there something wrong?"

"Uh…no…it's just…you look a little skinnier than usual, are you sick or something?" Hisoka was secretly cheering for his good save.

"No. Not really, I've been ok. A little exhausted, a little stressed…that's all, nothing big…"

"Oh. Well I hope you get some sleep." Hisoka quickly moved to his bed before Tsuzuki noticed the blush creeping across his skin. Tsuzuki got into bed; his back facing Hisoka, he reached for the light and turned it off. Despite how tired he was, Hisoka couldn't help but lie awake waiting for something bad to happen, he figured it was better to be paranoid than to be caught by surprise and left off guard. It was a little silent for a while when he heard it, it wasn't the first time, but the sobs coming from Tsuzuki startled him a bit.

Hisoka got up and sat down on Tsuzuki's bed side, "What's wrong?" he asked softy.

"Nothing…"

"Your not telling the truth..."

"Hijiri…" He whispered. The one word sent an ache in Hisoka's heart; he lay down silently next to Tsuzuki, the warmth of his back through his shirt called to Hisoka making him press his own back against him. Tsuzuki just made a small shutter and silently welcomed the company.

"What about him?"

"He died."

"And you're sad about that?"

"Yes."

"Why? You can still see him again…"

"I know, but he can't live life as it was meant to be lived…I took that away from him…as well as the other students that were killed tonight."

"You didn't take anything away from them, it was out of your hands and Hijiri was going to die eventually."

"I don't think I can tell myself that."

"You'll never let these things go, will you?"

"What?" Tsuzuki said turning a little towards Hisoka.

"You've been like this for years, blaming yourself and beating yourself up for things you can't control," He paused for a moment in thought, "…but I can't blame you for continuing on, no one bothered to help you forget…no one bothered to ease your mind or your pain…"

Tsuzuki lay silently listening to the boy talk, his tears were gone now and he found some comfort in the soft voice next to him.

"You feel alone and you want something to hold onto…so you hold onto memories of people who had no significance in you life; you keep them around to fill in what you lack. You hold their lives in your heart because you long for the one you never had." Hisoka rolled over and pushed Tsuzuki's upper body to the bed.

"If you need help to live again, let someone who loves you be the one to do it…" He drew the indigo eyed man closer and kissed him softly, "Let _me be the one to do it…"_

Tsuzuki put his arms around Hisoka and brought him down again to kiss him but the boy wouldn't let the kisses stop there, he planted them up and down his jaw and along his neck. He found Tsuzuki's erogenous spot to be between his jawbone and his ear and licked at it making his back twist and wind. His mouth moved from his neck and went lower on him making his shirt an unwanted obstacle, "Take it off." Hisoka groaned a whisper as he tugged at it.

"How far are you going to take this?" Tsuzuki asked between breathes; he didn't realize that his body was moving on its own as he took his shirt off.

"As far as _we_ want to…this involves us both, but if you don't want to you can always tell me to stop." Hisoka said before he locked his mouth onto his chest; Tsuzuki arched his back and gave out a whimper as a tongue circled around one of his nipples; his heart beat wildly under the heat "I don't…Hisoka…Ah.." he moaned then suddenly a hand slid down on his body and under his pants, it grabbed at his erection and made him gasp loudly.

"Uh." Tsuzuki said in a panicked tone.

"What?" Hisoka said; looking up from what he was doing.

"I don't think I can do this."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"I don't know how to do this sort of …thing…"

"You mean you've never made-"

"No." Tsuzuki said softly looking away.

This came a as a shock to Hisoka but it _did_ make sense. Tsuzuki had been in a mental hospital for most of his short life as an adult, not to mention he was outcast by everyone he knew, so how could he find someone to love him?

"I can understand why during your life, but why not after?"

"I don't know…I just wasn't interested or concerned with it until just recently…but…" He paused for a moment and just let out a frustrated sigh, his body was screaming "yes!" but his mind wasn't, "I just don't understand myself."

Hisoka lay quietly in the dark, his head resting on the violet eyed man's chest. He noticed that Tsuzuki's heart beat had calmed from its previous alert state and he assumed that the rest of his body was the same, so he moved up and gave Tsuzuki a small kiss on the forehead and returned to his spot on his chest.

"It's ok…I'll wait for you when you're ready…"

"I'm sorry…"

"It's fine, get some sleep…" 

T.B.C….

R&R 


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